The book "for women only"

The book is advertised to provide the reader with insights from the latest brain research allowing a glimpse inside the minds of men. I've read many books on relationships; some not worth keeping, others full of very good and helpful advice. This book, "for women only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, sounded exciting due to its being a book where the author claims she "applies her analytical skill to illuminating surprising truths about relationships." Thus "Shanti Feldhahn reveals what every woman- single or married- needs to "know". The info is derived via surveys of more than sixteen hundred men. Upon its arrival I promptly, and excitedly, began to read the book. Chapter 1 "Light Bulb On" serves as introduction to how the idea for the book came about. Chapter 2, "Your Love Is Not Enough" teaches how respecting the man is critical to sustaining a happy working relationship. This concept is covered in depth by Emerson Eggerich in his book "Love and Respect". In this book the basic information is addressed in a condensed, and thus quick to read, version. Chapter 3, "The Performance of a Lifetime" gives us insight into the reality that while our man might come across as being very confident and in control, in reality he too has insecurities and self-doubts. Chapter 4, "The Thinker" shows us how men think, or can actually not be thinking anything in a given moment of time. We learn the male brain really does function differently from the female brain. In chapter 5, "The Loneliest Burden" we come to learn being a provider is so important a man, but at the same time this is can be a heavy burden for him. At the conclusion of each of these chapters we learn how to better support the men in our lives. I found the information in each of these chapters to be insightful, informative and very useful. Up to this point I would have cheerfully given the book five stars and then some. In reading chapter 6, "Sex Changes Everything" I began to feel differently. In reading a well-respected marriage counselor, Willard F. Harley, Jr., in his books "His Needs Her Needs" and "Fall In Love Stay In Love", I gained an insightful understanding of this topic--from a well-balanced presentation. The impression I got from this chapter is that women are essentially responsible for their partner’s emotional state of mind and well-being based upon both how, and how often, she is sexually responsive to him. To me it read as though to meet his need she should be available sexually whenever he desires; as: "if she doesn't want to, I feel incredible rejection". Also: "fulfilling sex makes him feel loved and desired"; fulfilling sex gives him confidence"; and "your lack of desire can send him into depression". Additionally, emphasis is placed not only on willingness to engage in sex, the woman is to engage enthusiastically- "as much as men want sex, most of them would rather go out and clip the hedges in the freezing rain than make love with a wife who appears to be responding out of duty". While the author didn't specifically state it, by quotes given I got the impression the wife should be willingly and enthusiastically available for sex daily, if need be, based upon her husband's desire; "I feel like I go out into the ring every day and fight the fight. It's very lonely. That's why, when the bell rings, I want my wife to be there for me."; "your desire is a bedrock form of support that gives him power to face the rest of his daily life with a sense of confidence and well-being"; and "Sex is a release of day-to-day pressures...and seems to make everything else better". For me this chapter didn't read in a balanced manner taking into consideration the needs of the woman, instead leaving me with the impression it is only the man’s wants, needs and desires that matter. Chapter 7,"Keeper of the Photo Files" is moderately interesting in that it helps illustrate the effect of visual stimulation on the male brain. Chapter 8, "Chocolate, Flowers, Bait Fishing", touches on romance, a topic I didn't find to be useful. Chapter 9, The Truth about Taking Care of Yourself" addresses the importance of the woman keeping herself attractive for her man. This is a good common sense topic that perhaps might serve as a good reminder to some of us, or even a necessary read for some women. Chapter 10, "Words for your Heart" serves, basically, as a wrap up. I don’t highly recommend this book; however, if you simply want a quick read that touches on the issues, I believe you would find something beneficial from this book. I received my copy for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for my review.

Wildflowers from Winter

From previous experience I was beginning to think Christian fiction, by female authors, was not going to be my thing. However, in previewing for my next read, the title "Wildflowers from Winter" caught my attention. There was nothing unique about the description of the book but I noticed I had the option to preview the first chapter. That struck me as a "can't lose" option, so I clicked on the link. Not even halfway through that chapter I was captivated. Thankfully the novel was available via e-book so I was able to quickly receive a copy, which I promptly read over the course of the following three evenings. If my lifestyle would have allowed I'd have read the story in it's entirety in one sitting, because it was that good! At the end of the book I discovered the first chapter of the sequel and now, if only that novel was available, right now, to read! Katie Ganshert is the author, and in my opinion, this a a woman with great talent. The characters in her story became real to me; I felt their emotions and related to their experiences. I laughed with them, I cried with them. Each character had enough good to love them and enough flaws to seem like real people. As for staging the story, the author gave just enough description that I was able to visualize the scenes and feel as if I were there, but never so much that I could get bored. I received a preview copy of this book from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing Group, for my review, and I'm excited to share with you about this exciting new Christian fiction novel. In my opinion, this is a wonderful read that I highly recommend! For a sneak peek go here: http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/blog/2011/12/09/sneak-peek-wildflowers-from-winter-by-katie-ganshert/

At the Feet of Jesus

"At the Feet of Jesus" by Joanna Weaver is a book of daily devotions. Unlike some other books of this type, I found this book to be one I very much enjoy reading. Upon first receiving the book I found I not only read the devotion of the day but I continued on reading several devotionals ahead. The author has included some very interesting and thought provoking messages, and stories, that allow me to better understand the important messages intended. I like that each days devotion also includes a scripture verse or two, with a thought given to think on as the verse is read. I highly recommend this book. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/catalog.php?work=219691 http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/pdf/SneakPeek_AttheFeetofJesus.pdf

A Kingsbury Collection

"A Kingsbury Collection" Three Novels in One: Where Yesterday Lives, When Joy Came to Stay and On Every Side. Author Karen Kingsbury. The book is comprised of almost 800 pages of Christian fiction written by a New York Times Best-Selling Author. Each story contains a strong lead female character. Each is either a journalist or a TV news anchor. Initially I found this rather curious until I learned the author has a history in each. With "Where Yesterday Lives" we travel with the main character as she struggles with less than ideal circumstances in her marriage and her family of origin. Her Father dies at the beginning of the story so Ellen travels back to her home town to be with her family to make arrangements for his funeral. The story explores the various struggles and history of each of her siblings, as well as those of Ellen, and culminates with each having a better understanding of each other as they make peace at their fathers funeral. As a reader I found I was promptly drawn into the story. While I found the characters to be complex, as people are, I did find I began to question the authenticity of some aspects of her characters, which, as a reader, I found a little bothersome--this being particularly true with the character Jake, Ellen's boyfriend of six years prior her marriage, to another man. The author started to lose me about three fourths the way into the story, as I found it felt to me like it was time to wrap it up. I basically skimmed the last few chapters to get to the conclusion of the story. "When Joy Comes" is a story of both an adult woman, Maggie, and a child, Amanda Joy. Maggie is married to her golden boy husband, a devout Christian man, and she is employed as a journalist. She and her husband serve as foster parents. Early in the story you realize Maggie has a secret that haunts her. Amanda Joy is a lovely little girl who finds herself in the foster care system, and suffers some horrible experiences in the process. Fairly quickly things begin to unravel in Maggie's life and the reader begins to get the inside story to her dark secret. I found I was really drawn into this story. As I began piecing the story together I was anxious to see it work towards a happy ending. As with the previous book, again I found about three fourths the way into the story the writer was again beginning to lose me. I'd already figured the plot out and simply wanted to get to the point where it was all resolved. The writing, at this point, felt like needless filler, so I skimmed it to get to the culmination of story. Were this story based on true events, I'd not expect such a happy ending due to the circumstances that brought about the problem, but for a fiction novel the reader is provided with a very joyful ending. "On Every Side", in my opinion, is the best of the bunch, of the three stories. I actually liked the main characters, Faith Evans, and Jordan Riley. The essence of this story is a legal battle that involves a statue of Jesus which stands in the center of a town park. Faith is a newscaster who is also a passionate Christian. Jordan, a powerful attorney, has an ax to grind and goes after the town with a lawsuit mandating the statue be removed. The conflict comes as we learn Faith and Jordan were very close friends as children until Jordan's mother dies, leaving him and his sister orphans, separated from each other and lost into the foster care system. As the story unfolds, things become complicated when Jordan and Faith find each other again, yet find themselves on opposite sides of the legal battle. In the process the reader is able to travel the journey Jordan has taken up to this point, allowing for the opportunity to understand his confusion and pain. At the same time the reader is also able to journey with Faith and feel her passion, and understand her struggles to find balance between her career goals and her values and beliefs. As the reader I was very drawn into the story, feeling the emotions of the characters, championing for them, and experiencing the story as if I were there. This story engaged me from beginning to end and I really enjoyed what I felt to be a truly happy ending. "I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review."

12/12/12

I promised myself I would write on this day, because of the date. So, before this day ends, here I am. I woke up this morning with the events of yesterday on my mind. While driving home from work my husband informed me, via a cell phone conversation, that six police cars just went roaring up the highway. This comment was followed by his informing me perhaps their speedy passing was in relation to a shooting at the mall. As I'd not been listening to any media reports, this was the first I'd heard of this event. My husband, then informed me this shooting had taken place at the Clackamas Town Center Mall. I promptly turned our TV on channeling directly to local news. As it happened I had my choice of all local news channels, as this event was being broadcast, live, on each one. As of today we now know a 22 year old young man donned a ski mask and charged across the parking lot and into the mall. He passed through the Macy's store and up the escalator to the food court on the second level. For reasons I don't understand, many people, according to firsthand reports, didn't initially recognize anything was amiss. Some said they thought maybe it was a joke. PEOPLE--HOW CAN A MAN WEARING A MASK AND RUNNING THROUGH A MALL CARRYING AN ASSAULT RIFLE BE A JOKE!?!? Apparently reality set in when the gunfire started. Well, okay, according to reports, for most people it was not necessarily after the first couple shots, but instead reality set in once there was rapid fire, i.e. multiple shots in succession. About this time there began mass pandemonium and panic, with two people, an adult male (age 45) and an adult female (age 54) being shot dead, and a 15 year old girl, seriously wounded by way of gunshot wounds. Wow, at the risk of sounding like a freak, in typing the previous paragraph, I just noticed a curiosity in relation to the ages of both the adults, a flip of their age numbers, along with the fact each of the three persons has the number 5 in their age. Anyhow, back to the story... I thought it unusual, albeit a blessing, that more people were not wounded or killed--in light of the fact this guy clearly was there with the intent to kill, and was equipped with a weapon to do so. However, today in the news we learned the reason for this was because his assault rifle jammed. News reports suggest he died of a self inflicted gunshot wound. I suspect that his death, by self inflicted gunshot, is not the truth. IF the truth was altered, I can't say why. However, having an adult child who served in military intelligence, I am aware there are times when our national "leaders" give the public information that is different than actual events. This includes when it comes to the means that brought about certain persons deaths. In this case, the gunman was alive when the police and swat team entered the mall. Last night, in being reported he was dead, it was stated he had been neutralized. This terminology, to my understanding, when used in the military, means "the enemy" had been "taken out"-- as in killed by means not of his own hand (or doing). I am open to correction if this is not always the case. But, at the time of this writing, this is my understanding. Therefore, I suspect "the enemy" was "taken out". This morning, I reflected on the numerous times I've strolled through, shopped at, and otherwise visited that mall. I've been there so many times I couldn't even begin to count. In more recent years, there have been occasions I'd ride into the city with my husband, then leave from his office to go shopping. Some of those occasions included a trip to that mall, to shop, and to let my little one play. Right outside the Sears store, where this young mans life ended, is where the kiddy play area sits. It frightens me to realize how this place, that for over a decade I have thought of as being safe, was so quickly turned into a place of terror and death. In the news we learn of acts of terror happening in other parts of the world and, sadly, even in our own country. But to have such an act take place in my own back yard, so to speak, is very unsettling. It has given me pause to think. Today when I prayed that God would watch over and protect me and protect my loved ones, it was not mere rote words. This time I meant it with all my heart.

The Fourth Fisherman

The Fourth Fisherman by Joe Kissack. www.TheFourthFisherman.com The Fourth Fisherman is a book that parallels Joe's life with that of five fisherman who are lost. The fisherman are lost and adrift in a boat at sea at the same time that Joe, who appeared to have it all: money, a life in the fast lane that money buys, was also lost and adrift--only Joe was lost on the sea of life. Three of the five fishermen miraculously survive despite being lost and adrift for nine months. They attribute their survival to their faith in God; faith one fisherman started out with, and the other two gained during their time at sea. About the same time Joe, also very lost, is miraculously saved. As his life hits rock bottom he finds the only way up is through the grace of God. He finds his salvation comes by exercising the same faith, in the same God, as that of fishermen. The Fourth Fisherman is a very interesting and well written book. I very much enjoyed reading it, finding my faith is strengthened and my priorities are re-set. I definitely recommend the reading of this book. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Blindsided

Blindsided: Funny thing, the human psyche--our defenses. She says to me, I believe as a means of encouragement, “But you survived...”. I try to qualify with, “But did I really, I'm a mess.” I'm not sure what she sees, but apparently she doesn't see the life of failure and pain that I see. I've a lifetime of virtually no close friends-thus I'm in a perpetual state of loneliness. The careers I dreamed of as a child remained as nothing more than dreams, likely due to my fears, and most certainly due to my belief I'd never succeed. Therefore, I never even attempted to pursue one of them. The list of things I've quit could run as long as my arm. Quite possibly the only thing I ever finished was high-school (I'm thankful for that) but even those years hold memory of things started but not completed. My dating years could make me cry; heaven knows they did at the time. Sustaining was not a part of my vocabulary--I was on a quest, and that quest was to find love. But the irony is that when I did find someone who could truly meet my needs, I couldn't get away fast enough. He gave me three chances. Each time I ended up running. When I tried to come back again, he said no. Shortly thereafter I met the first man I would marry. That brings me to my failed first marriage. But if failed isn't bad enough there's all the grief and trauma and turmoil that comprised the years while it existed. Granted it definitely wasn't all my responsibility, still I hang my head in shame and sorrow for the part of it that's mine. Thankfully during those years I did come to realize there was something in me that was broken. I determined I wanted to fix it, so I put a lot of my time and energy into gaining knowledge, understanding and emotional healing. I did gain some of that, enough to find and be able to accept love in my life. Now I am able to enjoy a love relationship, but I've since begun to recognize I'll likely spend the rest of mortality trying to put together the broken pieces of my life, and even then I'll likely die still shattered. Because just when I think I can breath a little--I get blindsided. It was an action taken- that in and of itself wasn't terrible. Who could have known that in that moment it would have the potential to rock my psyche so completely. It's potential was realized because it combined itself with a life-changing event. Apparently those two combined were enough to create the key to unlock the ever so tightly secured lid; the lid that had for so long safely held secure from my conscious mind this pain, and deep sadness, which I had not been aware existed. What I once thought were only memories turn out to be laced with emotion deep and painful. Mopping the floor and I began crying. This was not the first time I cried that day; it was instead one of many. I began to question if I was having an emotional breakdown. Would I actually find my self at that lovely building in Salem where they bring you drugs on a platter and you attend group meetings with all the other lost souls who've cracked? That evening would find me standing outside the door of the bathroom while my lovely, newly pregnant daughter is applying make-up. Her recently married husband is in the other room and won't make eye contact with me. I know why but have no idea how to bridge the gap, and I realize he can't possibly understand where I'm coming from. But my daughter, to a degree, does. As I'm speaking to her I find I choke with emotion. She says, “What's the matter mom”. I move closer to the doorway and find I can't speak without crying. I'm describing to her of me as a small child. I begin to shudder as I cry, saying, “I was so little and there was no one to protect me...” then my crying turns to sobs, like those of the two, three and four year old child I once was. I see tears start to roll down her cheeks as she puts out her arms to me. I gladly accept her embrace, and she holds me as I weep. And she reminds me she loves me. I know I will need to continue to grieve this, until its finished. I didn't know I held this pain, but I now realize I've done so for a very long time. And I'm thankful I'm safe now; emotionally safe. It's because I am, that I can do this.