The Fourth Fisherman

The Fourth Fisherman by Joe Kissack. www.TheFourthFisherman.com The Fourth Fisherman is a book that parallels Joe's life with that of five fisherman who are lost. The fisherman are lost and adrift in a boat at sea at the same time that Joe, who appeared to have it all: money, a life in the fast lane that money buys, was also lost and adrift--only Joe was lost on the sea of life. Three of the five fishermen miraculously survive despite being lost and adrift for nine months. They attribute their survival to their faith in God; faith one fisherman started out with, and the other two gained during their time at sea. About the same time Joe, also very lost, is miraculously saved. As his life hits rock bottom he finds the only way up is through the grace of God. He finds his salvation comes by exercising the same faith, in the same God, as that of fishermen. The Fourth Fisherman is a very interesting and well written book. I very much enjoyed reading it, finding my faith is strengthened and my priorities are re-set. I definitely recommend the reading of this book. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Blindsided

Blindsided: Funny thing, the human psyche--our defenses. She says to me, I believe as a means of encouragement, “But you survived...”. I try to qualify with, “But did I really, I'm a mess.” I'm not sure what she sees, but apparently she doesn't see the life of failure and pain that I see. I've a lifetime of virtually no close friends-thus I'm in a perpetual state of loneliness. The careers I dreamed of as a child remained as nothing more than dreams, likely due to my fears, and most certainly due to my belief I'd never succeed. Therefore, I never even attempted to pursue one of them. The list of things I've quit could run as long as my arm. Quite possibly the only thing I ever finished was high-school (I'm thankful for that) but even those years hold memory of things started but not completed. My dating years could make me cry; heaven knows they did at the time. Sustaining was not a part of my vocabulary--I was on a quest, and that quest was to find love. But the irony is that when I did find someone who could truly meet my needs, I couldn't get away fast enough. He gave me three chances. Each time I ended up running. When I tried to come back again, he said no. Shortly thereafter I met the first man I would marry. That brings me to my failed first marriage. But if failed isn't bad enough there's all the grief and trauma and turmoil that comprised the years while it existed. Granted it definitely wasn't all my responsibility, still I hang my head in shame and sorrow for the part of it that's mine. Thankfully during those years I did come to realize there was something in me that was broken. I determined I wanted to fix it, so I put a lot of my time and energy into gaining knowledge, understanding and emotional healing. I did gain some of that, enough to find and be able to accept love in my life. Now I am able to enjoy a love relationship, but I've since begun to recognize I'll likely spend the rest of mortality trying to put together the broken pieces of my life, and even then I'll likely die still shattered. Because just when I think I can breath a little--I get blindsided. It was an action taken- that in and of itself wasn't terrible. Who could have known that in that moment it would have the potential to rock my psyche so completely. It's potential was realized because it combined itself with a life-changing event. Apparently those two combined were enough to create the key to unlock the ever so tightly secured lid; the lid that had for so long safely held secure from my conscious mind this pain, and deep sadness, which I had not been aware existed. What I once thought were only memories turn out to be laced with emotion deep and painful. Mopping the floor and I began crying. This was not the first time I cried that day; it was instead one of many. I began to question if I was having an emotional breakdown. Would I actually find my self at that lovely building in Salem where they bring you drugs on a platter and you attend group meetings with all the other lost souls who've cracked? That evening would find me standing outside the door of the bathroom while my lovely, newly pregnant daughter is applying make-up. Her recently married husband is in the other room and won't make eye contact with me. I know why but have no idea how to bridge the gap, and I realize he can't possibly understand where I'm coming from. But my daughter, to a degree, does. As I'm speaking to her I find I choke with emotion. She says, “What's the matter mom”. I move closer to the doorway and find I can't speak without crying. I'm describing to her of me as a small child. I begin to shudder as I cry, saying, “I was so little and there was no one to protect me...” then my crying turns to sobs, like those of the two, three and four year old child I once was. I see tears start to roll down her cheeks as she puts out her arms to me. I gladly accept her embrace, and she holds me as I weep. And she reminds me she loves me. I know I will need to continue to grieve this, until its finished. I didn't know I held this pain, but I now realize I've done so for a very long time. And I'm thankful I'm safe now; emotionally safe. It's because I am, that I can do this.

10/11/12

I'm rather a nut for numbers--number patterns that is. Since this date will be a once in a lifetime date for me, I just had to do something to immortalize it. I figured journal writing or blogging should do the trick. I may pop in again next month for 11/10/12, even though I don't get quite as excited about that one. But then there is 12/12/12--now that date is super cool! That leads me to 12/21/12... what to make of that date?!? The date pattern is intriguing, but even interesting is what I've learned about that date via various documentaries. If memory serves correctly, it was in January that we started watching various documentaries on the topic. I've learned about the Mayan calendar as well as the earth slipping off it's polar axle. Some folks speculate, come that date, nothing will happen. Others predict there will be a major change in the attitudes of people, worldwide. And then there are the scientists who suggest the whole world may come to an end, a very earth shaking crisis of an end--or at the very least some major earth shaking crisis. We could see any of the above, OR nothing at all. However, in light of the fact this is an intense election year, if nothing else, I expect emotions will be fairly intense come that date--if for no other fact than the nation will be wound up, on both sides of the fence, over who was elected in and who was not. All in all, I expect some excitement. Until then, happy 10/11/12!

Unstoppable: The Incredible Power of Faith in Action by Nick Vujicic

Unstoppable by Nick Vujicic

In my email, today, I found a gift. I am now sharing it with you. I just finished reading this excerpt of chapter 1 of Nick's book. What a moving and inspiring read! I look forward to reading his book; I have a feeling it will change my life. I'd then love to hear him speak. Unstoppable by Nick Vujicic (Chapter 1 Excerpt)

Be Still My Soul, or is it Cry of My Heart

Be Still My Soul,The Cadence of Grace Series, Book 1 by Joanne Bischof. Or should we say "Cry of My Heart" as the former appears to be a remake of the latter. I really wanted to love this novel. I looked forward to it's arrival and started reading it that very night. Based on the books introduction, I anticipated a captivating, inspiring story of love developed against great odds. I was introduced to the young character of Lonnie Sawyer, a shy gentle girl who grew up with an abusive father in a cabin situated in the Appalachian Hills. I can't say what year the story takes place as I don't recall seeing this information given by the author. My best guess would be some time early in the 20th century. The plot of the story is that young Lonnie is forced, by her father, to marry Gideon, a local young man whom she barely knows, after the father sees Gideon kiss Lonnie, walking her home from a community event late one evening. The story starts out strong. The author gives interesting detail that helps draw the reader into the story. I was captivated for about the first seven chapters, despite finding it a little hard to believe Gideon's father was such a weak character that he would allow his son to be forced into a marriage where there was nothing to substantiate the young woman or her reputation had been "soiled", as her father claimed. Nevertheless, at that point, I was still hopeful for a good story, so I didn't dwell on that detail. Starting with chapter eight, however, the author started losing me. The premise for the story had been set and from this point on it seemed to me like the author ran out of momentum. I started to notice a choppiness in the writing combined with a lot of detail, much of which I felt was unnecessary and thus bored me. Often I questioned if the author was inserting unnecessary detail simply to find filler. Throughout the book there's a lack of dialog to draw us into the heart and mind of the character's. Instead the reader is told what the characters are doing with the periodic announcement that one of them has a feeling. However, there was a lack of something in the writing so that I didn't feel emotion with or for the characters. The author seems to favor the use of the phrase gnawing, chewing or biting at ones cheek or lip. The redundancy of the use of this phraseology quickly became irritating. Several chapters into the book we are introduced to an older couple who are to be key people in Lonnie and Gideon's lives. I think the authors intention is for us to see this couple as being a source of mature wisdom and guidance for the young couple. Jebediah is written to say and do things that are a far cry from sage wisdom and a good example. At times he sounded almost as immature as we were to believe Gideon to be. As for his wife, Elsie, we really don't get to know her, but what few words of wisdom she offers, they are not, in my estimation, good advice. I found these two characters to be disappointing. Overall I found this book to be a disappointment. To me the characters seemed somewhat inconsistent, immature and underdeveloped. The writing style was choppy. There was too much unnecessary detail thus rendering the read boring. There were details I questioned as believable and there was redundancy in phraseology. At best this might be an acceptable read for a very young teenager. I definitely do not recommend this book to a mature reader.

What Matters Most

"What Matters Most: How We Got the Point but Missed the Person" by Leonard Sweet. In reading this book, I have likely gained far more than I yet realize. While at times it seemed as though the author might be repeating information I found this helped to really drive home to me the concepts the author was teaching. As I would read and ponder on the authors message I gained a far more in-depth understanding of the purpose, value and essential importance of relationships. In my opinion this is not a book for the casual reader. I found the authors messages to be deep and meaningful, requiring much thought and pondering on my part. I kept a red pencil for highlighting as I found there were many points throughout the book that I recognized I would want to reflect back on. One very interesting point the author addresses is the story of Abraham and Isaac. Like the author, I too have struggled to understand that story. I anticipated I would read the usual telling with it's accompanying explanation. Instead what I found was a very thought provoking alternate way of interpreting those events. The author shares with us what is titled "Twenty Questions Of Faith"; his twenty questions about the story. He brought up some very interesting questions; some similar to questions of my own, most questions I didn't even know to ask. Further along a personal story is shared and the author poses the question, "How many times have I sacrificed being "in relationship" for the personal satisfaction of being "in the right"? How many times have I won the argument, but lost a friend or damaged a heart?" Overall the key message I gained from this book is the essential importance of relationship with Jesus Christ, with God and with my fellow human beings. I don't know that I can even begin to adequately give tribute to the value of the content of this book in a review. The only way to truly benefit from the wisdom and insight offered is to read it and ponder on it's message. I think the best way to summarize is to quote from the author: "Relationship is pivotal to Christian theology, because God is Love and Love is impossible outside of relationships." http://www.waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks/reviews/view/19855